One day at a time...

This is one of those days when I get home from work and feel totally wiped out (my roommate, a first year 6th grade teacher comes home every afternoon and collapses for a few hours), like I'm made of metal and I've had a hundred teeny hammers banging on all sides of me for hours and even though there's no more banging, I can still hear the echoes.

I haven't written anything for the past few days, and actually they've been pretty eventful. I've noted a few times my frustration with this particular school. Granted, I don't have a lot to compare it to, and I realize I am lucky for many reasons, but I still believe there are legitimate reasons for this frustration. And the biggest indicator of that for me is the atmosphere among the teachers. I have never felt frustration so thick you can almost see it. And the amazing thing is that the administration and owners don't seem to really get it.

Two weeks ago, the music teacher, who had a part time job with an extremely low hourly rate and with contract, and is wonderful with children was offered a much better full time job. Having been here for almost 3 years, with no resources, no budget, and no support for the music program, she decided (reluctantly because of the kids she would be leaving in the middle of the year) to accept it. When she went to tell the owner of the school, the woman basically tried to emotionally blackmail her into staying, telling her she couldn't leave without a month's notice (even though she didn't have a contract) and then that she couldn't leave without finding a replacement for her own position. When the teacher persisted (her final day was today) the owner simply didn't pay her for the work she had completed, saying vaguely, "next month". Of course if she isn't paid next month there may be nothing the music teacher can do about it.

Now, two weeks is rather short notice, but even so, it wasn't until a week and a half later that the owner came to our leadership meeting and basically said "we haven't found a teacher, so what are you going to do about it?" implying that we should simply cover the extra classes - temporarily. Now this wouldn't be as big of a deal as it is if there weren't a parallel situation going on with middle school ESL. In early October one of the teachers (two actually, but that's a different unflattering administration story) left in the middle of the night without notice. In order to cover his classes the middle school ESL program was suspended so that the the vice-principal, who was teaching middle school ESL, could cover this teacher's classes. This move was temporary, until someone else could be hired (note that the other teacher who left in the middle of the night without notice's classes were covered by a local hire for several weeks until a replacement teacher arrived. So far that has been the only time a local substitute has been brought in - when one of the teachers was required to go on a sports trip with the students, the principal told her she was responsible for getting other teachers to cover her classes, which is absurd since it requires asking people to give up their prep periods to cover classes, turning it into a personal favor.) and the ESL students were moved into the mainstream middle school classes.

It is now January 25th and there is still no middle school ESL teacher. It sounds like basically the owners have had bad luck with people applying, accepting, and then backing out of the job for various reasons, but we are in a country with an incredibly high number of ESL teachers, and for four months now those kids have been sitting in classrooms where they simply do not understand anything that is going on.

And this is just the latest in a series of events that have led the staff to their current highly agitated state. From the elimination of classroom budgets, questionable pension and tax practices, nonexistent pay statements, poorly handled publicity, poorly run staff meetings, unfocused directives, AND unappealing housing conditions and maintenance (the school provides apartments which are themselves nice, but the building itself is just awful, it has not been painted in years, the stairways are never clean, and it is utterly depressing).

I left yesterday's staff meeting feeling really upset, frustrated, and angry, prompting this email to M:

Too bad you have no cell or I'd call you on the train - we had a rough day today. The staff meeting happened with the music teacher stuff and everything else everyone was feeling came out too. And then the owner cornered a few of us who were talking after the meeting and told us how unprofessional she thought we all were because she had heard there was yelling at the meeting (which had just happened, so clearly someone had gone straight to her to fill her in). And then told us that we were "teachers" so why didn't we just take the kids for the extra time and "do something with them". Why are we always trying to push them on other people?

Has she ever taught 8 year olds? Or anyone? The day my kids have music I have lunch duty, so I'll be on from 8am to 1:30pm straight, get 20 minutes, and then finish the day off. It's so frustrating! And yes, I know they're trying to hire people, but this is just one more thing where we feel underappreciated and apprehensive about the reasoning behind their choices (ie. money comes first). Not to mention her remark that having the middle school ESL kids in the mainstream classes (bc of the other teacher who left) is just "inconvenient" to the teacher - what about the kids?? They CANNOT speak English! They are sitting in classrooms where they DO NOT UNDERSTAND anything. And their parents are paying 12,000 bucks a year for that privilege? We have graduating seniors this year who CANNOT speak English - yet they do not offer ESL in 11th or 12th grade because we wouldn't want to suggest that we are graduating students who need extra help...extra help?! These kids need an entire English education!

They just sent us an email saying how hard they are trying to find a music and ESL teacher (as if those are the only problems) and why can't we have a little patience? I really want to reply all and say: I have purchased a ticket home. After having my professionalism and my dedication to my class questioned, I have decided that I no longer want to be treated this way. In fact, I am so dedicated to my class, I sincerely believe they would be better served by attending another institution entirely rather than staying here. I have told my students' parents just how unqualified I am to be teaching their children and how poor the graduating students' English is due to lack of resources and appropriate ESL instruction. I look forward to accepting a job where my considerable talent and dedication will be more appreciated.